How To Deal With Heartbreak for Guys That Lost Their Mojo!

You lost the girl you love and are in a real funk. You don’t know where to turn and need to know how to deal with heartbreak for guys! This article will help you to get your “mojo” back. It’s a complete guide for guys to get over their heartbreak.

We all know the story; girl meets boy, the girl thinks she’s in love with the boy and says the magic words “I love you!” But then, inexplicably, the magic disappears, and she dumps him! She unfriends him on Facebook, changes her status back to “single,” doesn’t answer his calls, and acts like the past never happened!

Meanwhile, the boy slowly falls to pieces, analyzes everything he did wrong, and tells his friends that he’s already over the relationship!

She buries her feelings deep down as he goes through total misery and fills her Instagram feed with photos of new boyfriends! Just know that the girl is probably hurting as much as you are (even though her suddenly lively media social life tells a different story).

There are tons of articles on the net to help women overcome heartbreak, but for one reason or another, there are limited resources for men. This is why we needed to write a “How to Deal with Heartbreak Guide” for guys trying to get over a recent breakup.

We hope our guide will help you deal rationally and maturely with the inevitable aftermath after your other half decides to “call it a day.”

Step one – Accepting what has happened

First things first, you need to be honest with yourself! Just because you are a man, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to feel hurt and depressed. Try not to lie to others (and yourself) by saying you are fine when you are not.

You may think that you can push the feelings down. The problem is that there will be many reminders of your time together. You’ll fail in the long run if you can’t be honest with yourself.

It’s OK to feel sadness, confusion, anger, and loneliness. Try to avoid “numbing yourself” to the pain. Instead, feel the emotions and let them run their course.

Step two – Dealing with the immediate aftermath

The cliché “time is a great healer” sounds blasé and flippant, but the adage is still the cornerstone of getting over a heartbreak.

Be aware that your progress will not be a straight upward line but a roller coaster of ups and downs. Remember that each time you go through the same “emotional cycle,” you’ll become able to better deal with the complex emotions that arise.

The more you try to fight your feelings, the harder it will be to feel normal again. Some guys find it therapeutic to write a journal about their feelings. This technique is excellent for strong/silent types that don’t want to open up to friends or family.

By all means, listen to angry or sad music but only do this to get those feelings out. Do not listen to “Nothing Compares to You” by Sinead O’Connor on a loop for two weeks straight. This will lead you down a very dark path and will not aid your recovery!

Step three – Letting it all out

Sorry to repeat this but don’t “bottle up” your emotions! Research shows that the brain processes the pain caused by a breakup similarly to that of people going through cocaine withdrawal!

Denial of your feelings will accomplish nothing and can only increase the chance of them exploding later. You must do everything you can to accept these feelings so that you can let them go and move on.

Everyone is unique and will have different ways of letting out negative feelings. Guys find comfort in meditation, physical exercise, good food, music, and spending time with good friends or family members. Anything that can take your mind off the situation is an excellent place to start.

Step four – Cutting ties

Of course, every relationship is different, but in most cases, avoiding any unnecessary contact with your ex is better. This means no emails or social media messages. And no bumping into her “accidentally on purpose” at her gym or local bar.

In these connected times, there is a lot of temptation to cyber-stalk your ex on Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat. Fixating what she is doing will make it harder for you to move on. If you don’t trust yourself to stop spying on your ex’s social media accounts, you might need to unfriend or unfollow her.

Finally, be very wary of the dreaded “drunk dial.” We have all been there at one time or another! Drinking a boatload of booze and deciding to ring your ex at a ridiculous time of the night to spill your heart out. This is a terrible idea!

It would be best to never be intimate with your ex after your split. “Friends-with-benefits” or a quickie for “old time’s sake” will trigger feelings of connection and affection and make it impossible for you to move on.

Step five – Taking care of yourself

Acknowledging that something terrible has happened to you and that you are strong enough to overcome it is critical to moving on after any breakup. Doing things that make you feel good and take your mind off your pain. Exercise is always good medicine for a damaged ego. Serotonin released during physical activity makes you feel happier and more in control of your emotions.

Watch your diet! While some men don’t want to eat, others binge eat. If you have lost your appetite, try making a smoothie with fruit, yogurt, and milk to ensure you get your calories. Stick to foods that increase your serotonin levels, such as oatmeal, cherries, and kiwis. Foods rich in antioxidants, such as tomatoes, citrus fruits, and apples, are excellent.

Finally, take care of your mental health. Keep an eye out for signs that your sadness is leading to depression. Talk to your local doctor if you feel that nothing in your life matters anymore.

Step six – The healing process

The next stage of our guide on how to deal with heartbreak for guys is to steer clear of things that trigger memories. You may have shared a song, and when you hear it again, it will trigger painful memories. Try not to linger on these feelings. Instead, turn your attention to something more positive such as an upcoming holiday or a time in your life when you were really happy without your ex-partner.

Music can aid your recovery to chase the blues away. When you listen to music that you enjoy, your brain releases endorphins to lift your spirits and help you better deal with stress. Avoid soppy or sad romantic tracks, as these will not help to heal your emotional wounds.

Above all, try to keep busy and your mind occupied. Whether talking to friends, reading a book, playing sports, or learning something new, you should not dwell on the past.

You may feel drawn to ease your pain with more unsavory pursuits such as drugs, gambling, excessive alcohol, or binge eating. Vices merely mask your pain by making you feel numb. Don’t add to your woes by getting an alcohol or painkiller addiction!

Step seven – Working through your feelings

If you haven’t done so already, confide in someone – “A problem shared is a problem halved!” Often just getting feelings off your chest will help. Give people a chance to support you by giving advice or just being a shoulder to cry on.

Try to avoid placing the blame if you can. Part of fixing yourself means truly accepting what has happened, and by blaming yourself or your ex, you’ll prolong your heartache.

This one’s a toughie! Try to feel some kindness for your ex! That doesn’t mean you have to forgive her, but it does mean that you cannot hold on to any anger or rage toward her.

Meditation has helped millions of people with various emotional issues find peace of mind. You could try meditating for 5 minutes daily and increase that by 5 minutes each day until you can manage 45 – 60-minute sessions. A great website for info is Learn Meditation Online.

Step eight – Moving on

It’s time to stop watching those sad movies and listening to REM’s “Everybody Hurts.” Impose a daily “grief limit” on yourself. After you have gotten over the initial shock of the breakup, don’t spend too much time wallowing in self-pity. You can set aside 15 – 20 minutes each day to reflect on the breakup, but any longer than this is counter-productive and will slow down the healing process.

After giving yourself some space, don’t automatically reject the possibility of meeting someone else. We’re not saying you should jump into another relationship, but you should not close yourself off and withdraw from society. It can be hard to “get back on the horse” if you leave it too long!

If you feel you cannot move on, you could try counseling. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness and is nothing to be ashamed of. By getting professional help, you’ll be able to make sense of your feelings and learn new skills for coping better in the future.

Step nine – Coping in the long-term

After the pain subsides, take this chance to discover who “you” really are. It has been about you being part of a couple for a long time. Work on personal growth, re-discover what makes you unique, and focus on yourself so that you can learn and grow from this experience.

A great way to keep your mind off your problems is to help someone else with a challenge they are facing. Don’t let your sadness stop you from seeing that many other people also deal with their own sadness. If you don’t have any friends that need help, you could consider volunteering at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

At this stage, you should accept the fact that relationships change. You will also be aware that recovering from heartbreak takes time and that you should not feel guilty about feeling sad or occasionally thinking about your ex.

If you find yourself thinking about old times, rather than suppress them, accept them and then think about something more positive instead. Above all, remember that you still have a bright future, even though it doesn’t include one particular person. Now you can rekindle old dreams or replace old dreams and goals with new ones.

Our final word here is about not being discouraged during this difficult time. Healing from heartbreak doesn’t happen overnight. After all, you gave away a piece of your heart to someone! Your pain proves you are an average human-made with imperfections, just like the rest of us!

Breakup strategies that should be avoided at all costs!

• Avoidance – Most men avoid their ex after a breakup and stick their heads in the sand.
• Distorting the truth – Some men lie to themselves as a post-break-up strategy. This method has a two-pronged effect. It will reinforce the internal message that you “don’t care” and act as a weapon by telling her that “she never meant that much anyway!”
• Being a jerk! – Yes, every girl has experienced this one! By being obnoxious, rude, unsupportive, or downright nasty, you are sending her a message: “You hurt me, and now I’m going to hurt you!!” Often, the more intense the hatred, the more the guy tries to hide his emotional agony. Paradoxically, this approach will lead to more feelings of guilt.

The best way to break up (if possible) is to end the relationship with all lines of communication open. This method allows both parties to have “supportive communication,” Unfortunately, this situation is rare because it leaves both parties emotionally vulnerable. Couples can sometimes negotiate their breakup calmly if they both know the relationship was over for a while, but neither party is ready to admit it.

If you liked this article, you might also be interested in how to keep a girl interested in you.